Rodney Dangerfield

“It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.”

Rodney Dangerfield View all quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

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“I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.” Rodney Dangerfield

“My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.” Rodney Dangerfield

“I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.” Rodney Dangerfield