Steven Wright “I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.” Steven Wright View all quotes by Steven Wright →
“I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'” Steven Wright
“Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'” Steven Wright
