Steven Wright “To the audience, it's like I'm changing the subject every five seconds, but to me, my show's almost like a 90-minute song that I know exactly. I wrote every note, and I know exactly where everything is.” Steven Wright View all quotes by Steven Wright →
“I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'” Steven Wright
“Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'” Steven Wright
