“I'm standing behind a wall of jokes. You don't know about my personal life, my girlfriends, or what I do when I'm not on the road. There's this guy, this comedian, and this is how he thinks, but people really don't know anything about me.”

Steven Wright View all quotes by Steven Wright

More from Steven Wright

“I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'” Steven Wright

“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.” Steven Wright

“Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'” Steven Wright