Quotes

“The cat does not offer services. The cat offers itself. Of course he wants care and shelter. You don't buy love for nothing.” William Seward Burroughs

“Man is an artifact designed for space travel. He is not designed to remain in his present biologic state any more than a tadpole is designed to remain a tadpole.” William Seward Burroughs

“The aim of education is the knowledge, not of facts, but of values.” William Seward Burroughs

“Junk is the ideal product... the ultimate merchandise. No sales talk necessary. The client will crawl through a sewer and beg to buy.” William Seward Burroughs

“Be just and if you can't be just, be arbitrary.” William Seward Burroughs

“Black magic operates most effectively in preconscious, marginal areas. Casual curses are the most effective.” William Seward Burroughs

“Which came first the intestine or the tapeworm?” William Seward Burroughs

“Perhaps all pleasure is only relief.” William Seward Burroughs

“The only possible ethic is to do what one wants to do.” William Seward Burroughs

“The way to kill a man or a nation is to cut off his dreams, the way the whites are taking care of the Indians: killing their dreams, their magic, their familiar spirits.” William Seward Burroughs

“Like all pure creatures, cats are practical.” William Seward Burroughs

“You can't fake quality any more than you can fake a good meal.” William Seward Burroughs

“Your knowledge of what is going on can only be superficial and relative.” William Seward Burroughs

“Smash the control images. Smash the control machine.” William Seward Burroughs

“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” Ambrose Bierce

“Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.” Ambrose Bierce

“War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.” Ambrose Bierce

“Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.” Ambrose Bierce

“Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.” Ambrose Bierce

“Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.” Ambrose Bierce

“Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.” Ambrose Bierce

“Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.” Ambrose Bierce

“Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.” Ambrose Bierce

“History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.” Ambrose Bierce

“Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.” Ambrose Bierce

“Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.” Ambrose Bierce

“Optimism - the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.” Ambrose Bierce

“Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.” Ambrose Bierce

“Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.” Ambrose Bierce

“Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.” Ambrose Bierce