Quotes

“Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense.” Josh Billings

“One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.” Josh Billings

“Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at.” Josh Billings

“Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.” Josh Billings

“Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.” Josh Billings

“Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done.” Josh Billings

“As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them.” Josh Billings

“Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.” Josh Billings

“Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take.” Josh Billings

“Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere, wide awake, on tiptoe.” Josh Billings

“Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight.” Josh Billings

“Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got.” Josh Billings

“There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: twins.” Josh Billings

“There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing.” Josh Billings

“Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.” Josh Billings

“Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined.” Josh Billings

“There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it.” Josh Billings

“If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time.” Josh Billings

“Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.” Josh Billings

“Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors.” Josh Billings

“One of the rarest things that a man ever does, is to do the best he can.” Josh Billings

“Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something.” Josh Billings

“The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm.” Josh Billings

“There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.” Josh Billings

“It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up and mellow. God forbid I should live long enough to ferment and rot and fall to the ground in a squash.” Josh Billings

“Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel.” Josh Billings

“It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit.” Josh Billings

“As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.” Josh Billings

“Economy is a savings-bank, into which men drop pennies, and get dollars in return.” Josh Billings

“When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him.” Josh Billings