Woody Allen quotes

“There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?”

— Woody Allen

“Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.”

— Woody Allen

“What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.”

— Woody Allen

“When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.”

— Woody Allen

“Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?”

— Woody Allen

“You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.”

— Woody Allen

“What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?”

— Woody Allen

“More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.”

— Woody Allen

“Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be there when it happens.”

— Woody Allen

“The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.”

— Woody Allen