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Ambrose Bierce quotes
“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.”
— Ambrose Bierce
“Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.”
— Ambrose Bierce
“War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.”
— Ambrose Bierce
“Quotation: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.”
— Ambrose Bierce
“Doubt is the father of invention.”
— Ambrose Bierce
“Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.”
— Ambrose Bierce
“Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.”
— Ambrose Bierce
“Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.”
— Ambrose Bierce
“Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.”
— Ambrose Bierce
“Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.”
— Ambrose Bierce
“Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.”
— Ambrose Bierce
“History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.”
— Ambrose Bierce
“Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.”
— Ambrose Bierce
“Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.”
— Ambrose Bierce
“Optimism - the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.”
— Ambrose Bierce
“Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.”
— Ambrose Bierce
“Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.”
— Ambrose Bierce
“Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.”
— Ambrose Bierce
“Friendless. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.”
— Ambrose Bierce
“Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.”
— Ambrose Bierce
“Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.”
— Ambrose Bierce
“Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.”
— Ambrose Bierce
“Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh.”
— Ambrose Bierce
“Doubt, indulged and cherished, is in danger of becoming denial; but if honest, and bent on thorough investigation, it may soon lead to full establishment of the truth.”
— Ambrose Bierce
“Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced.”
— Ambrose Bierce
“Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.”
— Ambrose Bierce
“An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.”
— Ambrose Bierce
“Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.”
— Ambrose Bierce
“Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.”
— Ambrose Bierce
“Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.”
— Ambrose Bierce
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