Groucho Marx quotes

“Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.”

— Groucho Marx

“Room service? Send up a larger room.”

— Groucho Marx

“Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.”

— Groucho Marx

“In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.”

— Groucho Marx

“Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.”

— Groucho Marx

“Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.”

— Groucho Marx

“Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?”

— Groucho Marx

“Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.”

— Groucho Marx

“Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.”

— Groucho Marx

“My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.”

— Groucho Marx