Groucho Marx
"I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."
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Top Groucho Marx Quotes
"Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him."
"Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot."
"A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running."
"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies."
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."