Quotes

“Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.” Ambrose Bierce

“All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.” Ambrose Bierce

“Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.” Ambrose Bierce

“Historian - a broad-gauge gossip.” Ambrose Bierce

“Liberty: One of Imagination's most precious possessions.” Ambrose Bierce

“We submit to the majority because we have to. But we are not compelled to call our attitude of subjection a posture of respect.” Ambrose Bierce

“Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.” Ambrose Bierce

“Ambidextrous, adj.: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.” Ambrose Bierce

“Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.” Ambrose Bierce

“Edible - good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.” Ambrose Bierce

“Genius - to know without having learned; to draw just conclusions from unknown premises; to discern the soul of things.” Ambrose Bierce

“Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.” Ambrose Bierce

“Prejudice - a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.” Ambrose Bierce

“Rum, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.” Ambrose Bierce

“The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.” Ambrose Bierce

“We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over.” Ambrose Bierce

“Who never doubted, never half believed. Where doubt is, there truth is - it is her shadow.” Ambrose Bierce

“A man is known by the company he organizes.” Ambrose Bierce

“A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.” Ambrose Bierce

“Abscond - to move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.” Ambrose Bierce

“Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.” Ambrose Bierce

“Battle, n., A method of untying with the teeth a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.” Ambrose Bierce

“Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.” Ambrose Bierce

“Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.” Ambrose Bierce

“Duty - that which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.” Ambrose Bierce

“Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.” Ambrose Bierce

“Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.” Ambrose Bierce

“Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.” Ambrose Bierce

“Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.” Ambrose Bierce

“Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.” Ambrose Bierce