Doctor quotes

“The doctor of the future will give no medicine, but will interest her or his patients in the care of the human frame, in a proper diet, and in the cause and prevention of disease.” Thomas Alva Edison

“All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.” Isaac Asimov

“If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster.” Isaac Asimov

“Beware of the young doctor and the old barber.” Benjamin Franklin

“Everyone has a doctor in him or her; we just have to help it in its work. The natural healing force within each one of us is the greatest force in getting well. Our food should be our medicine. Our medicine should be our food. But to eat when you are sick, is to feed your sickness.” Hippocrates

“I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.” Henny Youngman

“The doctor should be opaque to his patients and, like a mirror, should show them nothing but what is shown to him.” Sigmund Freud

“There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?” Phyllis Diller

“When a doctor does go wrong he is the first of criminals. He has nerve and he has knowledge.” Arthur Conan Doyle

“A wise doctor does not mutter incantations over a sore that needs the knife.” Sophocles

“But when ill indeed, Even dismissing the doctor don't always succeed.” Victor Hugo

“My doctor tells me I should start slowing it down - but there are more old drunks than there are old doctors so let's all have another round.” Willie Nelson

“Time is generally the best doctor.” Ovid

“Doctors will have more lives to answer for in the next world than even we generals.” Napoleon Bonaparte

“I always supported the women I worked with having time off to go to parent-teacher conferences and doctors' appointments or bringing their infants into the office.” Hillary Clinton

“I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.” George Carlin

“I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.” Groucho Marx

“We like security: we like the pope to be infallible in matters of faith, and grave doctors to be so in moral questions so that we can feel reassured.” Blaise Pascal

“I mean some doctor told me I had six months to live and I went to their funeral.” Keith Richards

“I don't trust doctors. It's not to say there ain't some good ones, but on a general level, no, I wouldn't trust 'em at all.” Keith Richards

“The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind; the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity.” Arthur Schopenhauer

“I wanted to be a doctor that I might be able to work without having to talk because for years I had been giving myself out in words.” Albert Schweitzer

“The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman.” Jonathan Swift

“A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.” Frank Lloyd Wright

“My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.” Orson Welles