“Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.”

Erma Bombeck View all quotes by Erma Bombeck

More from Erma Bombeck

“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.” Erma Bombeck

“A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.” Erma Bombeck

“Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.” Erma Bombeck