Quotes

“Friendless. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.” Ambrose Bierce

“Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.” Ambrose Bierce

“Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.” Ambrose Bierce

“Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.” Ambrose Bierce

“Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh.” Ambrose Bierce

“Doubt, indulged and cherished, is in danger of becoming denial; but if honest, and bent on thorough investigation, it may soon lead to full establishment of the truth.” Ambrose Bierce

“Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced.” Ambrose Bierce

“Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.” Ambrose Bierce

“An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.” Ambrose Bierce

“Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.” Ambrose Bierce

“Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.” Ambrose Bierce

“Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.” Ambrose Bierce

“Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.” Ambrose Bierce

“Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.” Ambrose Bierce

“When you doubt, abstain.” Ambrose Bierce

“Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.” Ambrose Bierce

“Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.” Ambrose Bierce

“Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.” Ambrose Bierce

“Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.” Ambrose Bierce

“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.” Ambrose Bierce

“Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.” Ambrose Bierce

“Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.” Ambrose Bierce

“Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.” Ambrose Bierce

“Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.” Ambrose Bierce

“Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.” Ambrose Bierce

“Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.” Ambrose Bierce

“Egotism, n: Doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with a pen.” Ambrose Bierce

“Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.” Ambrose Bierce

“Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.” Ambrose Bierce

“A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.” Ambrose Bierce