Groucho Marx
"The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution - this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths."
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Top Groucho Marx Quotes
"Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him."
"Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot."
"A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running."
"I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."
"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies."