Rita Rudner

"Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in."

Top Rita Rudner Quotes

"To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'"

"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

"Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times."

"When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always."

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."

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