Quotes

“Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.” Mark Twain

“No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.” Mark Twain

“Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.” Mark Twain

“Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.” Mark Twain

“Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.” Mark Twain

“One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.” Mark Twain

“Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.” Mark Twain

“Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.” Mark Twain

“Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.” Mark Twain

“Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.” Mark Twain

“Prosperity is the best protector of principle.” Mark Twain

“Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.” Mark Twain

“Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.” Mark Twain

“Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very", and your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.” Mark Twain

“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.” Mark Twain

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” Mark Twain

“The finest clothing made is a person's own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this.” Mark Twain

“The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.” Mark Twain

“The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.” Mark Twain

“The lack of money is the root of all evil.” Mark Twain

“The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.” Mark Twain

“The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become.” Mark Twain

“The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.” Mark Twain

“The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.” Mark Twain

“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.” Mark Twain

“The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.” Mark Twain

“The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.” Mark Twain

“There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.” Mark Twain

“There are lies, damned lies and statistics.” Mark Twain

“There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.” Mark Twain