Quotes

“Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.” Mark Twain

“Everything has its limit - iron ore cannot be educated into gold.” Mark Twain

“Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.” Mark Twain

“Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.” Mark Twain

“Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.” Mark Twain

“Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.” Mark Twain

“Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.” Mark Twain

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” Mark Twain

“Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.” Mark Twain

“Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.” Mark Twain

“Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.” Mark Twain

“God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.” Mark Twain

“Golf is a good walk spoiled.” Mark Twain

“Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.” Mark Twain

“Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.” Mark Twain

“Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.” Mark Twain

“Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.” Mark Twain

“Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.” Mark Twain

“Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.” Mark Twain

“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.” Mark Twain

“I can live for two months on a good compliment.” Mark Twain

“I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.” Mark Twain

“I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.” Mark Twain

“I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me. I always feel that they have not said enough.” Mark Twain

“I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.” Mark Twain

“I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.” Mark Twain

“I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.” Mark Twain

“Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own.” Mark Twain

“If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.” Mark Twain

“If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat.” Mark Twain