Funny quotes

“The next time you have a thought... let it go.” Ron White

“A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.” Steven Wright

“I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.” Steven Wright

“If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.” Steven Wright

“You can't have everything. Where would you put it?” Steven Wright

“The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.” William Butler Yeats

“People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.” Zig Ziglar

“Whenever I don't' have to wear makeup, it's a good day.” Cameron Diaz

“I've been noticing gravity since I was very young.” Cameron Diaz

“The two basic items necessary to sustain life are sunshine and coconut milk.” Dustin Hoffman

“One thing about being successful is that I stopped being afraid of dying. Once you're a star you're dead already. You're embalmed.” Dustin Hoffman

“I married way out of my pay grade. I have no idea how that happened.” Chris Pratt

“I always admired Wonder Woman and the Incredible Hulk - but I don't know if I'd be a very convincing hulk.” Lucy Liu