“It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom.”

Joan Rivers View all quotes by Joan Rivers

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“I have no methods; all I do is accept people as they are.” Joan Rivers

“I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.” Joan Rivers

“My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.” Joan Rivers