“I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.”

Joan Rivers View all quotes by Joan Rivers

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“I have no methods; all I do is accept people as they are.” Joan Rivers

“It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom.” Joan Rivers

“I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.” Joan Rivers