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“I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.”
Frank Zappa
“The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.”
Robert Frost
“The happy people are failures because they are on such good terms with themselves they don't give a damn.”
Agatha Christie
“My only fear is that I may live too long. This would be a subject of dread to me.”
Thomas Jefferson
“A reactionary is a somnambulist walking backwards.”
Franklin Roosevelt
“America is a mistake, a giant mistake.”
Sigmund Freud
“Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature.”
Marilyn Monroe
“My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.”
Phyllis Diller
“The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.”
Phyllis Diller
“Common looking people are the best in the world: that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.”
Abraham Lincoln
“Life would be tragic if it weren't funny.”
Stephen Hawking
“As long as you know men are like children, you know everything!”
Coco Chanel
“Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.”
Lord Byron
“Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.”
Arnold Schwarzenegger
“It is better to go skiing and think of God, than go to church and think of sport.”
Fridtjof Nansen
“Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.”
William Shakespeare
“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.”
Marilyn Monroe
“From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.”
Dr Seuss
“Trust is hard to come by. That's why my circle is small and tight. I'm kind of funny about making new friends.”
Eminem
“You know, fame is a funny thing, man, especially, you know, actors, musicians, rappers, rock singers, it's kind of a lifestyle and it's easy to get caught up in it - you go to bars, you go to clubs, everyone's doing a certain thing... It's tough.”
Eminem
“Guns are bad, I tell you.”
Eminem
“Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.”
Winston Churchill
“I am easily satisfied with the very best.”
Winston Churchill
“I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.”
Winston Churchill
“I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.”
Winston Churchill
“Part of me suspects that I'm a loser, and the other part of me thinks I'm God Almighty.”
John Lennon
“Soldiers generally win battles; generals get credit for them.”
Napoleon Bonaparte
“Doctors will have more lives to answer for in the next world than even we generals.”
Napoleon Bonaparte
“I got a lot of support from my parents. That's the one thing I always appreciated. They didn't tell me I was being stupid; they told me I was being funny.”
Jim Carrey
“My report card always said, 'Jim finishes first and then disrupts the other students'.”
Jim Carrey
