Mitch Hedberg “I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.” Mitch Hedberg View all quotes by Mitch Hedberg →
“I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.” Mitch Hedberg
“An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.” Mitch Hedberg