Mitch Hedberg “My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.” Mitch Hedberg Topics:FunnyFunWaterPretendFakePlantsDied View all quotes by Mitch Hedberg →
“I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.” Mitch Hedberg
“An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.” Mitch Hedberg
