Mitch Hedberg “You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.” Mitch Hedberg View all quotes by Mitch Hedberg →
“I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.” Mitch Hedberg
“An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.” Mitch Hedberg