Mitch Hedberg “My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got halfway. She's an actress, she just never gets called to the set.” Mitch Hedberg View all quotes by Mitch Hedberg →
“I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.” Mitch Hedberg
“An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.” Mitch Hedberg