Phyllis Diller

"My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. "

Tags: thank, bad, cooking, kids, thanksgiving, pearl harbor, funny

Top Phyllis Diller Quotes

"
Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.
"

"A smile is a curve that sets everything straight."

"Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? "

"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. "

"There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto. "

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