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"My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. "
Top Phyllis Diller Quotes
Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.
"A smile is a curve that sets everything straight."
"Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? "
"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. "
"There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto. "
Phyllis Diller quotes