Quotes

“We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones.” Andy Rooney

“Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.” Andy Rooney

“Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.” Andy Rooney

“I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.” Andy Rooney

“Nothing in fine print is ever good news.” Andy Rooney

“Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?” Andy Rooney

“I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you.” Andy Rooney

“Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads.” Andy Rooney

“My own time is passing fast enough without some national game to help it along.” Andy Rooney

“The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.” Andy Rooney

“A writer's job is to tell the truth.” Andy Rooney

“As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we try the phone book.” Andy Rooney

“I don't pick subjects as much as they pick me.” Andy Rooney

“The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.” Andy Rooney

“The dullest Olympic sport is curling, whatever 'curling' means.” Andy Rooney

“When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.” Andy Rooney

“I don't think the government is out to get me or help someone else get me but it wouldn't surprise me if they were out to sell me something or help someone else sell me something. I mean, why else would the Census Bureau want to know my telephone number?” Andy Rooney

“Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a combination of gymnastics and ballet. A little sexy too which doesn't hurt.” Andy Rooney

“Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of.” Andy Rooney

“Let's make a statement to the airlines just to get their attention. We'll pick a week next year and we'll all agree not to go anywhere for seven days.” Andy Rooney

“I'm in a position of feeling secure enough so that I can say what I think is right and if so many people think it's wrong that I get fired, well, I've got enough to eat.” Andy Rooney

“The world must be filled with unsuccessful musical careers like mine, and it's probably a good thing. We don't need a lot of bad musicians filling the air with unnecessary sounds. Some of the professionals are bad enough.” Andy Rooney

“The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account.” Andy Rooney

“I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it comes in the mail next month. If you don't return the form the area you live in might get less government money and you wouldn't want that to happen, would you.” Andy Rooney

“I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep your eyes on both the puck and the players and too much time passes between scoring in hockey. There are usually more fights than there are points.” Andy Rooney

“I obviously have a knack for getting on paper what a lot of people have thought and didn't realize they thought. And they say, 'Hey, yeah!' And they like that.” Andy Rooney

“Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too.” Will Smith

“Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress people they don't like.” Will Smith

“Money and success don't change people; they merely amplify what is already there.” Will Smith

“I don't know what my calling is, but I want to be here for a bigger reason. I strive to be like the greatest people who have ever lived.” Will Smith