Quotes

“It's all make believe, isn't it?” Marilyn Monroe

“The body is meant to be seen, not all covered up.” Marilyn Monroe

“Dreaming about being an actress, is more exciting then being one.” Marilyn Monroe

“The thing I want more than anything else? I want to have children. I used to feel for every child I had, I would adopt another.” Marilyn Monroe

“My work is the only ground I've ever had to stand on. I seem to have a whole superstructure with no foundation but I'm working on the foundation.” Marilyn Monroe

“I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time.” Marilyn Monroe

“If I'm a star, then the people made me a star.” Marilyn Monroe

“Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.” Phyllis Diller

“The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.” Phyllis Diller

“Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.” Phyllis Diller

“Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.” Phyllis Diller

“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.” Phyllis Diller

“Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?” Phyllis Diller

“A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.” Phyllis Diller

“A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.” Phyllis Diller

“I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.” Phyllis Diller

“Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.” Phyllis Diller

“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.” Phyllis Diller

“There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?” Phyllis Diller

“My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.” Phyllis Diller

“Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.” Phyllis Diller

“Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.” Phyllis Diller

“We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.” Phyllis Diller

“I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.” Phyllis Diller

“It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core.” Phyllis Diller

“My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.” Phyllis Diller

“His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.” Phyllis Diller

“I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.” Phyllis Diller

“My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.” Phyllis Diller

“The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.” Phyllis Diller